what is friend

im back here with my rant again people 😉 i do feel like ranting it on my fb to let some people whom i feel necessary to read it, to read it, but then..it’s not always good to rant on fb (actually it’s not good to rant at all ahahha)well..that’s me,another day another drama, as per what Britney said.lol

ok so the topic of my rant this time around is about friends.still. it’s been six years plus here on my own with lots of friends which come and go. the one who stays are not perfect as well, i know..and i know im not a good and perfect friend either..i notice that i always expect something from everyone to act and do as what my hear wishes them to do and it aint right cos i know it wont always turn out as what i wanted. and the fact that im not an individual person, i cant live without my friends.

let me give some real examples – my side of story of course.
1. i had a group of friends, i have. this is my so called the closest friends i have here.i do am part of the group, but the thing is, im not always seems to be part of the group, they might have some gatherings outings without me which they blurred out themselves when i was around. then i try to make a sense of it, ok maybe they know i wont be able to join, i wont agree to stay over which is true, i wont be fun, timing is not right or and obviously i dont have transport, who want to waste their time fetching u here and there. ok the facts are  reasonable, i’ll live with it.

2. i have new friend/friends, getting close to each other too fast too soon. spent lots of times outing together. it felt great, you have someone to hangout with. until it gets to one point that the friend feel something different about the friendship (which i dont know what, but obviously it’s not love feeling). then there’s a new replacement, a new friend. everything started to change. wtf? dumped me after you got new friend? seriously? well. i’ll live with that, you’re just an asshole. (ps: facts and reasons are not stated), just FYI, i dont stop my friends from having new friends,just dont treat me differently afterwards.

3. They expect me to share them my stories but then I’ll be the last to know about their stories or they don’t even bother to share anything with me.

i really really love hanging out with friends. but the problem is…i always being second thought by people here, i always think that the main reason is because I DONT OWN A TRANSPORT. in some cases, they wont even bother to ask or invite me. and second thing is because of the communication, as what i just experienced. i had this very fun gathering with this bunch of new friends, they are very fun and funny, but i failed to interact because of the language, i dont speak and understand mandarin,cantonese clearly then i’ll feel left out. so i missed the chance to make friends.tho i did chatted with them.

im pretty sure that most of you think that im just finding excuses for all my failed friendship and excuses of not being able to make friends. maybe you’re right and maybe you’re not. but that’s how it goes. im a friendly friendly person as some of you may know. it just doesnt shows well sometimes..

well..feel good to write it out, but it wont make any different  i supposed. thanks for reading! AND HAPPY CHAP GO MEH! (first lantern in my life, was so excited lol)

feb1

 

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